WTF, MATE?

The one good MS program.
nerb
I'm a sactown criminal. Kookookachooo.
En la boca cerrada, no entran moscas.
Anime is teh sux0rz.

STUFF 'N CRAP

» General:

I am officially UCD alumni!! I majored in Physics and minored in Education (in case I decide to be a teacher). I transfered from American River College in Carmichael, CA in Fall of 2005.

» My most recent employment history:

Fall '06 ~ Spring '07 I was a computer janitor for the Sociology department. I really hate Thinkpads.

Fall ]05 ~ Summer '06 I worked in the Student Disability Center in the South Silo. I was the first official E-text Technician, or whatever you want to call it. I bascially scanned books all day. I also drove the awesome SDC golf cart that gives rides to students who aren't capable of walking to class in a reasonable amount of time.

» 3-2-1 Contact!:

So let's say, hypothetically, you need to get in touch with me. Here are three likely ways of doing so:

  • LAIM: Jeskachan
  • email: Jeskawaii@gmail.com
  • Facebook: Search my name, Jessica Johnson, and send me a message.
  • Xbox Live Gamer Tag: Miss Jeska

» Interests:

I love music of all kinds. I bake really yummy cookies. I like to sew costumes and make fancy pillows. I can draw certain things, mostly planets and twiddle bugs. I thrive off of coffee and Bawls. I have about 12 years of child-care experience because I adore children just that much. I admit to loving Trading Spaces, only because I love interior design. Oh, I hate my hair.

I'm a big sci-fi nerd and have been since I was a 1 year old. I am beyond "fanatic" when it comes to Star Wars. Some say this is odd since I am a physics major, but it has nothing to do with physics! I saw Return of the Jedi when I was 1, not that I remember, but it definately was a major part of the sci-fi infested childhood that I gew up in. I fell in love with Astronomy at the tender age of 7 when I viewed the moon through a gun sight. I preferred watching Cosmos instead of Sesame Street. I used to get up at 6am before school so I could watch The Lone Ranger when I was 6.

I like to quote things, be it movies or television shows. "I've seen the Exorcist 167 times, and it keeps getting funnier every single time I see it!" Growing up, my lil sis and I watched particular films many many many times, to the point that our conversations are almost made up completely of quotes. "What about the twinkie?"

I practiced Kosho Shorei-Ryu Kempo for about 5 years (spread out from 1994-2002). Four of those years was spent at Garrett's Kenpo Karate(a chinese version of Kempo) in Orangevale. The school was owned by Gary Garrett and his family. I went on martial arts hiatus after earning my rank of Jr. 1st Brown(3 stripes), and eventually stumbled upon a small school somewhere else in Orangevale. It belonged to a man named Bruce Juchnik. Little did I know, he was one of Gary's old masters along with Ed Parker Sr.(eew). Bruce Juchnik holds the title of Hanshi, or "root master", for the KSRK community all over the world. Because of him, I had the fortunate experience to attend The 2002 Gathering, a national martial arts convention. This experience has taught me why such a sport is referred to as "art".

» The Intarweb:

Being the social butterfly that I am, I spend a lot of time chatting it up on the famous internets of yore. I am most commonly on gAIM throughout the day and I peruse forums in the evening. Here is a list of my favorite places to waste time:

  1. http://slashdot.org ≡ I still heart /. despite the popularity of digg.

  2. http://SomethingAwful.com ≡ I love this website.

  3. http://DavisWiki.org/ ≡ Don't question it.

  4. http://www.lassforce.com ≡ My awesome website.

  5. http://Frontalot.com ≡ Become a member of the Valued Sux0r Program, lovingly referenced as the VSP. Trust me when I say it is worth the money to be amongst forum goers whose IQ is larger than their shoe size.

  6. http://www.Penny-Arcade.com/ ≡ My favorite online comic ever.

  7. http://DieselSweeties.com/ ≡ My second favorite online comic. If you love sarcasm and robots, then this is the comic strip for you! My latest shirt is the majestic Robot Evolution!

  8. http://www.ButtercupFestival.com/ ≡ This comic is in a category of its own.

  9. http://theOnion.org ≡ Everyone loves fake news!

  10. http://myspace.com/asciichicksigh I know... Myspace. The bane of man's existence. So why? Well, if you don't have one, how can anyone find you? Mine is private, so please send me a message and kindly say where we might know one another from.

» Pets:

Growing up, I have lived amongst dogs, cats, turtles, and even a duck. I adore animals of all kinds (No Mike, spiders are not animals! They are vile arachnids!!). Here are my currently living pets:

  • BangooBangoo is my current pet living here in Davis with Ande and I. To read more about Bangoo, please click his name to go to his Wiki. Oh, and he loves plastic bags.
  • Azrael ≈ Rescued from the clutches of evil neighborhood kids, Azrael resides in the quiet home of my mother back in Orangevale. He is enormous and very skittish. His favorite thing in the whole wide world is rubbing himself all over your shoes. He is also deathly afraid of plastic bags.

» Projects:

  • Get a job. This has been much harder than it sounds and trust me, I am not slacking. Here is my four step plan of great success!

I have lots of old projects that either failed the process of natural selection, or I just got lazy and never bothered to finish.

Umbrella Pharmaceuticals
Only In Orangevale
ARC Astronomical Society
<dl>
  • http://UmbrellaRX.com/ :: The website for Umbrella Pharmaceuticals was my brain child for an entire year. The problem with such ingenuity is that it is rather difficult to get lazy people to make an effort to prolong its existence. So many hours went into creating the most beautiful website I have designed so far, and all for nothing. I still own the url in hopes that it might return from beyond the grave.

  • http://www.orangevale.fws1.com/ :: This site was an idea cooked up by my sister, a friend and I one night in the local Denny's. The problem here was that no one was producing much in the way of content that related to Orangevale. It had lots of potential in my opinion, however it takes more than a half-assed attempt when making fun of an entire town.

  • http://arcas01.tripod.com/ :: I ran an Astronomy club back at ARC a few years ago. It failed miserably because my friend and I were the only students in the entire college who even remotely liked Astronomy. It's not really a club when the Pres and the VP are the only ones in it. The meetings were pretty boring too.

  • </dl>

    BOW-CHIKA-BOW-WOW

    Bangoo pwns.
    Azrael, the Magnificent.
    I'm the Hamiltonian operator.
    Two really big nerds.

    » Music:

    I like most music out there. I have realized lately that I don't listen to much of the modern music these days. I keep a constant rotation of Queen, The Beatles, Depeche Mode, NIN, Johnny Cash, et cetera et cetera. I've been recently indoctrinated to bands such as The Postal Service and I must say that I am quite happy.

    My favorite kind of music is that of the silly variety. It's also undoubtedly how I like my internet. I hope to eminate pure sillyness one day.

    Stuff for your entertainment:

    DADDY WOULD YOU LIKE SOME SAUSAGE

    Comments:

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    2006-09-04 16:18:40   Jessssica! Hello, 'tis Morgan from H.S. I don't have jack shit on my davis wiki, but hello! —MorganFlores


    2007-06-12 10:13:57   Kids Playing Chess On Freeway Get Squashed. LOL —LizKim


    2007-06-12 11:45:07   Yay for goons, nerdcore and hungers that only tacos can stop. —BradBenedict


    2007-09-14 15:47:29   You, Amit, Jessy, and one person from fencing are the only people I know that have contributed more to the wiki... how dare you! Must... update... pages... —MichaelAWoods


    2008-02-14 15:41:04   you're a S&M hooker —BradBenedict


    2008-11-03 17:05:19   omg. hahahaha, i updated. bargh —LizKim